When a woman is single, there is no one to worry about aside from herself. When she becomes a wife, she worries about herself and her husband. When she becomes a mother, she worries about her kids, her husband and herself, in that manner (at least that’s what I think).
To become a working mom or a stay-at-home mom has always been a dilemma of most mothers. To come up with a decision, a lot of sacrifices are involved. Though this may have been a decision that both husband and wife should do, moms are always caught in the middle. Unlike husbands, who generally provides for the family, the wives have a different set of responsibilities when it comes to dealing with the family.
As a mother who has experienced both worlds, I would like to share with you how it was to be a stay-at-home mom and a working mom.
I had a job when I got pregnant but I stopped working temporarily since I had a risky pregnancy carrying my twins. I stayed home for 8months including the 2-months maternity leave. I had to go back to work when the kids were 2 months old. Back then, these are a few my experiences:
- Personally cleaning the feeding bottles – the kids were premature and they are vulnerable so I had to be sure.
- Regular diaper change
- Waking up in the middle of the night to regularly bottle feed the babies – done every 2 hours
- Sometimes, sleepless nights when the babies are crying
- Waking up early in the morning to go to work
- Experiencing vertigo every now and then due to lack of rest and sleep
- Regular neonatologist visit every month during weekend
When I am at work, the babies are left with my sister-in-law and my mom visits daily to look after them. As the kids are growing, I can feel that the children are closer to my sister-in-law. They always look for her whenever she is not around and I sense a bit of jealousy rising inside me. Why aren’t my kids looking for me? I felt like it was a warning and that is when I realized I haven’t had enough time with my children. I go to work early and arrive home when they are already sleeping. But with me working, we easily recovered from the financial crisis we had when I gave birth to them at 31 weeks.
When the kids are 7 months old, I decided to stop working and stay with them. Personally attending to their needs gave me a sense of accomplishment as a mother. Below are the things I did as a stay-at-home mom:
- Bathing the children
- Cooking breakfast, lunch, merienda (afternoon snacks) and dinner
- Eat with the kids
- Play, read, watch TV with the kids
- Cleaning the house
- Doing the laundry
- Going to market
I noticed that they grew closer to me. They always look for their mom at not their aunt anymore. Fulfilling task for me but there were consequences. With only my husband working and with the huge expenses at home, we had issues – financially. That prompted me to go back to work – again.
The only thing that made me more comfortable now is that they are already at the age where they can recognize me as their mom and I have built a bond with them that I hope will last until they grow old.
I tasted both worlds and what can I say? Both jobs can never be compared. Each mom has their own reasons why they chose to be the opposite of what they should be. A working mom is still a mom at home and she works for the family, too. They may have careers to maintain and jobs to perform but they are moms. Taking care of the kids and maintaining the house is not an easy task for a stay-at-home mom. Just imagine all the physical work she needs to accomplish everyday.
What are your thoughts?
Mye, I admire you for the wonderful job you are doing as a working mom of twins. I don’t think I can do that myself. It will be so stressful to me. Keep i up, dear and thanks for sharing it with us.
Thanks also for the comment and visits on my blogs
. Take care!
hi cecile – thanks for the kind words
I never had much of a choice, actually. I was a single mom for many years when I was blessed with my son. I always joked that he got a happier mommy when mommy was working…but wonder if that’s because if mommy wasn’t working, then there was no $$ coming in.
I found another blog of yours, huh?
Myrlyn, naguguluhan ako sa blogs mo…lols
@aline
hahaha! why?
@grandy
yeah, this is my latest blog. well, i think there are a couple of opportunities out there for stay-at-home moms…like freelancing. i’ve found a couple of writing jobs but one should be careful because there are a lot of scams out there…
thanks for visiting here.
just keep up the good work….
I know you can make it..
thanks jong!
Hi, Ate Mye!
You are doing great everywhere you are. Like I always tell you, I can’t imagine myself having twins. I can relate to everything that you say. I also worked when I was 5months pregnant and stopped 1 month before I gave birth. and then I worked again when daughter is 4 months and stopped when she’s 8 months.
I miss her so much when I’m far away from her. When I’m at work I keep on calling her dad, asking how she is, what she did the whole day (boyfriend is working at home), and I can’t wait to go home.
Now I’m doing freelancing and it’s stressful at times, esp when I have a deadline and daughter is so naughty and wants to watch movie. (agawan kame sa laptop) lol
I wanted to go back to work since I was an outgoing person. But I can’t stand not seeing her. lol I think I have become domesticated. haha!
I am so proud of you for accomplishing so many things. and this blog.. you are able to put this up by yourself and your wedding blog as well. ^^v
Good luck, mommy!
thank you fedhz for the kind words
i was trying to enjoy myself too that is why i put a lot of effort into publishing this blog and exploring my other hobbies.
i hope you will all share my parenting moments with me and please do enjoy reading my posts
Mye, I’ve experiencd both worlds (WM & SAHM) & I personally think becoming WAHM is better than SAHM & WM. Working Mums definitely miss the bonding, SAHM definitely miss the financial independence but WAHM would have both worlds but it is way NOT EASY, lots of work & are u up to the challenge? That’s what I’ve been questioning myself if I make final decision to switch from WM to WAHM. That’s my ultimate goal!
Sad and hard reality. I couldn’t do it. Since I got pregnant I decided to stay at home, however I don’t consider myself a stay at home mum but a work-at-home mum. I run a few blogs and at least it gives enough to pay some bills. I write about everything I do to keep bringing income home, so if you have some time you might like to visit.
http://businessmamaweb.blogspot.com
P.S.you have such a beautiful and lovely twins!
I also chose to stay at home and tend to our child but then I felt guilty leaving my husband to work and earn for us so we decided to put up a business so both of us can stay at home and be with our daughter plus earn. We are thankful for that decision and until today, family is prioritized over work.
Good luck on your journey!
Happy parenting!
hi lilian – that was wonderful. good luck with your business
Same here, I had a taste of both, and even tried working from home. Now, I want to believe that there are women who are not just built for home and be a plain home maker. It was a tough decision to go back to the Corporate world with a baby left in the care of a nanny and supervision of my mom, but I just feel I had to do it, aside from helping my husband earn for the family, for my self-worth I guess.
I look up to stay at home moms for their patience and decision to be with the kids, to guide them and not miss precious moments with them, but I am prouder of moms who work double time, for the other benefits and at the same time be a home maker, mom and wife after office hours.
Excuse me for the long comment but I just feel knowing someone who shares the same sentiments and thoughts with me makes me feel better, with less guilt feeling of leaving my kids under the care of a stranger.
so true – when i was still working for a private firm (now am at home) – i had to leave the kids in other people’s care but we have no choice. moms have the hardest time balancing and being the best at both worlds.